Doing Feminism

I think I first heard about Steak and a Blowjob Day just last month, a week or so before Valentine’s Day. Is it surprising? Not really.

SABD happens on March 14, a month after Valentine’s Day, of course. Put forward as a response to Valentine’s Day, it is “a holiday for men.” Not problematic, you say? Well, listen up, asshat.

There are a number of problems revolving around SABD. Let’s start off with something light: SABD relies solely on stereotypes of men. Pretty obvious stuff, I think. Not all men eat or even like steak. Hell, the idea of eating a slab of flesh from the body of an animal more than repulses me. It’s also foolish to assume that all men enjoy oral sex (or even sex at all). This is the first problem of SABD: It essentializes all men. Don’t think the problems stop there, though.

Another issue with SABD is it seems to put forward the idea that the other 364 (365 if it’s a leap year) days of the year aren’t men’s days. That’s right: the facts that men make significantly more than women; that men generally don’t need to worry about being raped when walking down the street at night; that men hold the power in society, and so on, are quite plainly being overlooked. Notice my day count: I include Valentine’s Day. “But that’s bullshit! I spent so much money that day, planned weeks ahead, and was stressed out the entire time! How can that be a man’s day,” you say? Well, friend, it is a man’s day because it essentially permits you to treat your lady friend like a second-class citizen for the rest of the year in our fucked up culture. Not only that, but chances are you expected a little something in return and probably got it. In short, stop complaining, you ingrate!

The last real problem with SABD that I’ll address (although there are certainly more), has to do with the fact that it’s being purported as a “man’s day.” I have a real problem with this. Could it be a man’s day? I suppose it probably could, but it would depend on what one’s definition of a man is. Since this is my blog and my piece, though, I’m telling you it’s not a man’s day. But then you say, “So, if it’s not a man’s day, is it a day for the bitchez? Or are you gonna tell me it’s a day for dem people with vages and dicks? ‘Cause man, you wrong there!” And I say you’re right, I would be wrong there if that’s what I was saying. But I’m not saying that. I’m saying that SABD is not a man’s day, friend, because it is a day for sexist douchebags. And you, my friend, are a huge fucking sexist douchebag.