Here’s my latest piece for The Gateway, the University of Alberta’s newspaper. Props to Amber for giving it a look-over.
Earlier this month, Buena Vista University alumnus and resident advisor Kyle Payne plead guilty to felony-attempted burglary in the second degree and two counts of invasion of privacy. While attending to an unconscious student in her residence hall room, he sexually assaulted her and videotaped and photographed her breasts.
Leaving aside the appalling fact that the guilty plea didn’t include sexual assault charges, there’s something else that’s troubling about this matter. Proclaiming himself as pro-feminist, Payne identifies as a social justice educator, writer, and activist. Not only that, but he’s worked with survivors of sexual violence and says he is—believe it or not—“particularly interested in men’s roles in confronting pornography and the rape culture.”
My first reaction to this news was to wonder how this would affect the perceptions of other feminist men. When someone as seemingly dedicated as Payne commits a crime such as this, it can lead women to question the intentions of progressive, feminist men, and that simply isn’t fair. It’s one thing to sexually assault someone, but it’s another matter entirely to jeopardize the roles of certain members of a movement.
This was my initial reaction, and it’s extremely problematic. Dwelling on how this incident will affect men fails to address the actual issue: the fact that a woman has been sexually assaulted. It’s important to take into account Payne’s alleged beliefs, but not in a way that takes away from the real victims of his crime: women. There’s much that a person can take away from this, but one thing is the seemingly controversial but incredibly true statement, “all men are potential rapists.”
It’s important not to confuse this with what may be misinterpretted as similar declarations, such as “all men are rapists” or “all men want to rape.” What the affirmation means is that rapists aren’t easily identifiable. They aren’t colour-coded, they don’t subscribe to sexist notions any more than most people, and they aren’t noticeably more evil than men who don’t rape. According to one study found in the Journal of Research in Personality, 51 per cent of college men exhibited a likelihood to rape (in accordance with the likelihood to rape scale) if they could get away with it. I’ll bet those men aren’t wearing signs around their necks.
In short, because of the rape culture we live in, women must constantly be cautious around men until they learn to trust them. Given that the victim knows the attacker in 69 per cent of all rape cases, even that trust is a leap of faith to a large extent.
This is not to say that it falls in the hands of women to prevent their own rape—nothing could be further from the truth. Rather, as men perpetuate the problem, it is our responsibility to not only refuse to sexually assault women, but to challenge the culture that condones and normalizes sexualized violence. Furthermore, men shouldn’t expect to get a pat on the back for this kind of work and recognize that women still have every right to question men’s intentions. That’s something that comes with being a member of a privileged group, and a point that needs to be taken away from Kyle Payne’s actions.
July 24, 2008 at 9:15 pm
good job on this one.
July 24, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Thanks, Ren!
July 25, 2008 at 8:18 am
very refreshing. i tend to cause a ruckus at parties, because men hate that “all men are potential rapists” line. i’ve been accused of somehow hurting feminism by espousing this line — that we need men allies, and that by exposing them in this way, we are shutting them out of the process. it’s just nice to hear that at least one fella gets it. came in via feministing, but i’ve been following along on my rss ever since. cheers.
July 25, 2008 at 8:20 am
i guess for posterity, i should’ve said “some men hate that…” dirty feminist, i shoulda known to cover my ass against the man-hating charge. i’d like to officially amend that statement, and also to add an official “i love men” to balance the charge, for future transcription of events.
July 25, 2008 at 5:34 pm
[...] Kyle Payne’s actions show that women are justified in caution around men « Doing Feminism “Dwelling on how this incident will affect men fails to address the actual issue: the fact that a woman has been sexually assaulted. It’s important to take into account Payne’s alleged beliefs, but not in a way that takes away from the real victims of (tags: rape crime violence women men feminism reference allies) [...]
July 25, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Welcome, Cate!
From my experience, I’d be willing to say most men hate that line. So far one comment has come in that indicates someone was bothered by what I had to say, but we can’t (and won’t) please everyone.
I know what it’s like to be that person at the party, too.
July 26, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Most men hate the line because most men aren’t rapists. I don’t really understand how you can fault men for being offended. I hate the line.
With that being said, the line is true, you’re right. And, as I said on one of your similar posts, all human beings are potential murderers. All white people are potential lynchers. If you want to take it to the extreme, all women are potential rapists as well- women have been charged with sexual crimes as well, just much less frequently.
It’s a true statement, but a stupid and meaningless one.
July 27, 2008 at 11:22 am
Jorb,
True, I believe most men aren’t, in fact, rapists, but that’s not what the statement is saying. It’s saying that men are potential rapists, in that they aren’t easily identified until they’ve actually committed the act. But you know this.
Nevertheless, the statements you propose aren’t exactly equal. All human beings are potential murderers, sure, I can agree with that, because we live in a fairly unpredictably violent culture.
All white people are potential lynchers I do have a problem with, though. Forgive me as I’m not fluent on many stats in accordance with racism and racist acts, but while our culture is certainly racist, I don’t believe lynching is something that our culture still condones, and therefore is much less likely to happen. Please correct me if you feel I’m wrong.
Are all women potential rapists? If we look at it at mere surface-level, sure. However, the rape culture doesn’t encourage the consumption and rape of men; it’s the other way around. As a result (and as you pointed out) women sexually assault men much less frequently. This isn’t to say the sexual assault of men isn’t a problem, because it is, but how many men do you know who fear being raped while walking home at night or when there is a known rapist in their neighbourhood?
July 27, 2008 at 4:49 pm
re: jorb’s comment
i think the reason why the line is NOT meaningless is because we live in a rape culture. rape is a crime where the victim is consistently interrogated, blamed, accused of false accusations, etc. the line “every man is a potential rapist” serves to detract negative attention away from the woman/victim. one in six women is a victim of sexual assault at some point in her life — and most sexual assaults are not a stranger in alley — they are someone that the victim has some sort of relationship with. now, granted, this doesn’t mean that one in six men is guilty of sexual assault; however, we do have to acknowledge that this is a pervasive problem in society. so many discussions of rape deteriorate into victim-blaming of one sort or another, and worse yet, most discussions of rape prevention focus on meaningless ways to control women’s behavior (don’t walk alone, especially don’t walk alone at night, don’t wear revealing clothing, don’t drink in strange situations), when men have no such codifications. the fact of the matter is that the only way a woman can prevent herself from being raped is by never being near a rapist. period. and as derek pointed out, they don’t wear signs.
also, if we could refrain from calling things “stupid,” that would probably be helpful. ad hominem attacks, even on ideas, are unproductive.
August 2, 2008 at 8:23 pm
[...] Response to Kyle Payne I was a bit hesitant to give Kyle Payne another platform by writing about his public statement on my blog, but I have some things to say. [...]
August 3, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Derek,
I agree when you say lynching is much less likely to happen, but the thing is, that’s not what the term states. Since it does happen, very rarely, according to your logic all whites are still potential racists and lynchers.
I also agree that women rape much less frequently than men, but again… so what? Since it does happen, all women are potential rapists.
I understand what you mean in that rape by men is a more common crime… but where do we draw the line? Only a very small fraction of men are rapists, it’s only a larger small fraction than that of women or white racists. What, so if .03% of this group commits this act, than we can use the term? What about .02%? how about if it stands at a cool .04%? See what I mean? The term means nothing.
I don’t believe lynching is something that our culture still condones
I have to stop you there. Of course we as a culture don’t condone lynching, but we in no way condone rape. I don’t mean to be rude, but, excuse me? Rape is recognized as one of the most heinous crimes that can possibly be committed. Those accused of rape (even if found innocent) face a lifetime of stigma and demonization from the public. This is one of the reasons I believe those who falsely accuse are almost as bad as rapists themselves.
I also completely disagree with the fact that we live in a “rape culture”, maybe an “oversexed culture”, but in the interest of keeping this short I won’t address that.
I’m also sorry for calling the idea “stupid”, but honestly… I think it is. It seems powerful and shocking when you first see it but in reality it’s completely meaningless and only serves to antagonize and demonize all males.
August 3, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Jorb,
It isn’t really the rates that lead to the statement being true, but rather the cultural attitudes around the topic. This is why it’s important to take the rape culture into consideration.
Now, since you have a problem with the rape culture, there really isn’t much I can do except insist that it’s there. Just because we persecute and stigmatise rapists doesn’t mean our culture doesn’t condone rape. For example, although we stigmatise those who commit violent acts, our culture still encourages violence to an extent, even if it isn’t immediately evident, and the rape culture is part of that. I think popular culture is a great place to see these messages in action. All you need to do is start analysing it with a critical eye.
August 12, 2008 at 11:09 pm
[...] said it before: It is not the responsibility of women to protect themselves. Rapists may commit the action, but [...]